I'm back !

Long time no see :D , i know it's been ages since i last published a post but i've been kinda busy in the last couple of months,and that's because i gave birth to a lovely baby boy last December, and i've been busy with my little babe, trying to figure out how to be a mother LOL! it turned out not being so easy, but i LOVE it , even though the last weeks have been hard but the experience is definitely priceless , and i have been enjoying my bundle of love, and it's a kind of love i have not experienced before, it's a whole new world, i know i'm being cheesy right now but i can's describe the sensation and the amount of love that filled my heart <3 i get teary when i see him smile (when he's asleep :P) and my world revolves around him <3 ok i need to stop :P.
so i gave birth at 37 weeks , i did not get any contractions or anything, i was going for a normal doctor appointment , we did the regular things and i told her i was feeling a little tiny period cramps and she told me it was normal , and then she said we will check if you're dilated or not when your a 37 weeks
me : i'm 37 weeks!
Doctor :ok i'll check,.
and then she stared at me and said :you're 5 cm dilated!
 me: what?!
Doctor : you're having a baby tonight
me: but i don't feel anything !
Doctor :and that's fantastic for a first time pregnant , you can go home and get your bags and get ready.
i was freaking out of course, my husband was waiting for me outside , when i came he asked me casually how's everything and he started walking to the car, i said wait we're having a baby! right now! and then we both freaked out lol!
so i went home changed my clothes, performed Maghreb prayer ,grabbed my bags and got ready.
at the time i was relatively calm , i was encouraged, i told myself just more 5 cm and it's done i don't feel any extreme pains, so my spirits were high and i was excited too, when i went back they broke my water, it wasn't painful or anything and then as the time went by it started to get painful! i could handle it till i was 9 cm ,it was extremely painful, and then i was on the labor ward!
so i give birth at 9 pm, it took two hours after having my water broken,and my baby was 3.6 kg and was safe and sound, and the moment i saw him i forgot every pain i felt , it was the most beautiful moment for me and my husband , i still remember it, we looked at each other in awe ! it was surreal!
my baby now is 2 months and two weeks, things are getting smoother now, the first days were the hardest, the stitches(i had an episiotomy),breastfeeding(he did not latch on right away), and jaundice (he was at hospital for 3 days because it was really high),but everything got better and it definitely worth it and i'm so thankful for Allah for he blessed me with a healthy beautiful baby, i can't ask for more.
so it's a long babble but i enjoyed every minute of it,hope you do as well!
xoxo  

my pregnancy diary ( 35 weeks update ) :

this week my baby is supposed to be weighing 2.4kg and measuring about 46cm from head to toe and the size of a coconut,
he's got full-length fingernails and toenails and has a fully developed pair of kidneys. His liver can also process some waste products..

How far along?
35 weeks..
Are you showing?
definitely, people ask me when's my due date tongue emoticon is that bad or good unsure emoticon
Gender:
still a secret ..

Total weight gain:
i don't know !

Maternity clothes:
none, i bought some nursing pads though if it that counts as maternity clothes..

Sleeping:
horrible frown emoticon i can't get a good night's sleep with my aching back and my baby kicking and my every half an hour visit to the loo *tears*

Food Cravings:
still milk,and apples..

Movement:
heaps!

labor signs:
none,even though one time i felt some kind of a pain ,like period pain and i freaked out thinking i was going into labor grin emoticon but then it went away, i think it's called braxton hicks or something..

Miss Anything?
i miss my life before pregnancy frown emoticon i mean i loved being pregnant but it's getting harder everyday frown emoticon ..

Symptoms:
oh dear a lot of symptoms, heartburns ,backaches,indigestion, mood swings,*tears* this week has not been that fun frown emoticon

Belly Button in or out:
finally an outtie ! it's weird though

Rings on or off:
off frown emoticon my fingers and and my ankles are swollen now, but not that much, i'm the only one noticed it,but i hate it ..

Happy or moody:
moody, i'm feeling down these days, i don't know why but i'm just not in the mood and i feel depressed out of nothing really !

Looking forward to:
to get done with being pregnant !

this weeks is not fun apparently , sorry for the negativity but i can't help, i needed to ventilate and get it out of my system, i hope the coming days are better smile emoticon

my pregnancy diary ( 32 weeks update ) :

today i'm 32 weeks pregnant or eight months pregnant, only two months away heart emoticon my baby weighs about 1.7kg and is around 42cm long from head to toe , the size of a squash smile emoticon ..

How far along?
32 weeks..
Are you showing? 
yep!
Gender:
still a secret tongue emoticon
Total weight gain:
i don't know !
Maternity clothes:
i am going to get some warmer clothes as it's getting colder here ..
Sleeping:
i wake up 2 or 3 times at night ;(
Food Cravings:
milk and milk and more milk heart emoticon..
Movement:
it's not as strong as it used to be, i mean i feel it everyday but not as regular as before, i try not to worry because i know it's getting tight and there isn't enough room for the baby to move that much..
labor signs:
none !
Miss Anything?
moving gracefully grin emoticon it's getting heavier everyday and getting up and sitting down is kind of a struggle now grin emoticoni feel like an old lady! ..
Symptoms:
breathlessness , and i don't eat as much,i thought you should be eating like a monster during this stage, i don't know i just don't have the appetite,oh and my fingers are ever so slightly swollen squint emoticon i hate it ..
Belly Button in or out:
flat ! if that makes sense ..
Rings on or off:
still on, a bit tight though !
Happy or moody:
fairly happy alhamdulillah..
Looking forward to:
my doctor's appointment tomorrow IA .

my pregnancy diary ( 27 weeks update )

I'm officially in my third trimester ''jaw-dropped'' i can't believe how fast time goes , but i'm super excited for that, it means i get to see you sooner babe <3 i can't wait..

How far along? 27 weeks.My little babe is 36 cm long and and weighs about 875g ''he's getting big yay! '', and is roughly the size of a cauliflower '' i do love cauliflower <3 '' ..

Are you showing? definitely my bump is about 35.5 in :)  

Gender: ammm my husband kinda wants it to be a secret so no one knows, it just the two of us which is very annoying :( i'd love to tell my mum , but i think it's gonna be worth it , surprises are cool aren't they :p

Total weight gain: i have no idea! 

Maternity clothes: to be honest i hate maternity clothes, i bought two jeans before and their not that comfortable specially the over-bump ones, so i just wear my old size for dresses and tops and a bigger size jeans and it works perfectly well..

Sleeping: it hasn't been that good lately but not too bad , i mean it takes me a bit longer to fall asleep with my aching back , but once i'm fast asleep it's all good, i mean i wouldn't be waking up during the night.. 

Food Cravings: it has been kinda normal, although i try to eat fruits and vegetables , i mean something fresh as i have been getting heartburn lately which is super annoying >< ..

Movement: tonz ! i can feel it almost all the time sometimes when i look at my tummy i see it ripples ! i don't know what that little creature is trying to do, i still can't tell where's the leg or the head , but overall it is always exciting when it moves, makes me happy ! so thanks babe :*   

labor signs: none thankfully ! otherwise i would freak out and i get really nervous when i hear the word premature labor >< gives me shivers down my spine !

Miss Anything? you know the thing is about being pregnant is.that you're being worried all the time , i mean if  want to move or eat something or use a certain product i always worry and i have to double check that it is ok and the baby is fine and all that ..

Symptoms: heartburn sometimes , dizziness '' i don't know what is it with low pressure '' ,shooting pain in my lower back and left leg '' i could not walk properly for two days ''.. 

Belly Button in or out: somewhere in between .. 

Rings on or off: still on thankfully !

Happy or moody: definitely moody :p ..

Looking forward to: shop for baby clothes <3 . 

my pregnancy diary ( 22 &23 weeks update )

It seems that the countdown is starting for real ! time flies by and it's getting near ! "that rhymed LOL! '' .

so today i'm 23 weeks pregnant and my baby weighs about 500 g and is about the size of a mango ''yummy '' ..

the baby's hearing is developing so that she may be able to make out a distorted version of my voice <3 or the beat of my heart ..

the movement and kicking are more noticeable now not just for me but also for my husband he could feel it and see it as she is squirming and punching in my belly <3 she's getting more active as she grows which is cool !

as for symptoms i have been feeling normal most of the time , even though last Saturday i believe i had difficulty eating i was soooo hungry but i could not eat that much because i wouldn't feel comfortable and i threw up, i guess the baby was up i could feel her near my rib cage, but then it was gone and everything was fine.

as for cravings it's been kinda normal ,although i was feeling hungry all the time , the melon thing has curbed down a bit , and i can drink milk again which is good , as i  hated it in the last months and i could not keep it down which was really frustrating .

but today i could not leave the bed, i woke up with this horrible headache and i was feeling dizzy so my hubby measured my blood pressure and it was really low :( i don't know what's the cause, but the doctor once told me that at this stage having low blood pressure is better than high blood pressure so i don't mind ..

my belly is definitely growing it measures 35 inches now and i barely fit in my old clothes, but i like how it looks (weirdly ) and i've been taking a lot of pictures :P..  

i'm looking forward for my next appointment which's next Monday , i'm super excited to see my baby and see how she's doing ! 

إغاثة اللهفان من مصائد الشيطان

    :هذه مقتطفات من كتاب إغاثة اللهفان من مصائد الشيطان لابن قيم الجوزية رحمه الله تعالى 

 الله سبحانه وتعالى خلق الخلق لعبادته الجامعة لمعرفته والانابة إليه ومحبته والاخلاص له فبذكره تطمئن قلوبهم وتسكن نفوسهم وبرؤيته في الآخرة تقر عيونهم ويتم نعيمهم فلا يعطيهم في الآخرة شيئا هو أحب إليهم ولا أقر لعيونهم ولا أنعم لقلوبهم: من النظر اليه وسماع كلامه منه بلا واسطة ولم يعطهم في الدنيا شيئا خيرا لهم ولا أحب إليهم ولا أقر لعيونهم من الإيمان به ومحبته والشوق إلى لقائه والأنس بقربه والتنعم بذكره وقد جمع النبي  بين هذين الأمرين في الدعاء الذي رواه النسائي والإمام أحمد وابن حبان في صحيحه وغيرهم من حديث عمار بن ياسر: أن رسول الله  كان يدعو به: اللهم بعلمك الغيب وقدرتك على الخلق أحيني ما علمت الحياة خيرا لي وتوفني إذا كانت الوفاة خيرا لي وأسألك خشيتك في الغيب والشهادة وأسألك كلمة الحق في الغضب والرضى وأسلك القصد في الفقر والغنى وأسألك نعيما لا ينفد وأسألك قرة عين لاتنقطع وأسألك الرضى بعد القضاء وأسألك برد العيش بعد الموت وأسألك لذة النظر إلى وجهك وأسألك الشوق إلى لقائك في غير ضراء مضرة ولا فتنة مضلة اللهم زينا بزينة .الإيمان واجعلنا هداة مهتدين

فجمع في هذا الدعاء العظيم القدر بين أطيب شىء في الدنيا وهو الشوق إلى لقائه سبحانه وأطيب شىء في الآخرة وهو النظر إلى وجهه سبحانه ولما كان كمال ذلك وتمامه موقوفا على عدم ما يضر في الدنيا ويفتن في الدين قال: في غير ضراء مضرة ولا فتنة مضلة

ولما كان كمال العبد في أن يكون عالما بالحق متبعا له معلما لغيره مرشدا له قال: واجعلنا هداة مهتدين

ولما كان الرضى النافع المحصل للمقصود هو الرضى بعد وقوع القضاء لاقبله فإن ذلك عزم على الرضى فإذا وقع القضاء انفسخ ذلك العزم سأل الرضى بعده فإن المقدور يكتنفه أمران: الاستخارة قبل وقوعه والرضى بعد وقوعه فمن سعادة العبد أن يجمع بينهما كما في المسند وغيره عنه  إن من سعادة ابن آدم استخارة الله ورضاه بما قضى الله وإن من شقاوة ابن آدم ترك استخارة الله وسخطه بما قضى الله تعالى

ولما كانت خشية الله تعالى رأس كل خير في المشهد والمغيب سأله خشيته في الغيب والشهادة

ولما كان أكثر الناس إنما يتكلم بالحق في رضاه فإذا غضب أخرجه غضبه إلى الباطل وقد يدخله أيضا رضاه في الباطل سأل الله تعالى أن يوفقه لكلمة الحق في الغضب والرضى ولهذا قال بعض السلف: لا تكن ممن إذا رضي أدخله رضاه في الباطل وإذا غضب أخرجه غضبه من الحق

ولما كان الفقر والغنى بليتين ومحنتين يبتلي الله بهما عبده ففي الغنى يبسط يده وفي الفقر يقبضها سأل الله تعالى القصد في الحالتين وهو التوسط الذي ليس معه إسراف ولا تقتير

ولما كان النعيم نوعين: نوعا للبدن ونوعا للقلب وهو قرة العين وكماله بدوامه واستمراره جمع بينهما في قوله: أسألك نعيما لا ينفد وقرة عين لا تنقطع ولما كانت الزينة زينتين: زينة البدن وزينة القلب وكانت زينة القلب أعظمهما قدرا وأجلهما خطرا وإذا حصلت زينة البدن على أكمل الوجوه في العقبى سأل ربه الزينة الباطنة فقال زينا بزينة الإيمان 

ولما كان العيش في هذه الدار لا يبرد لأحد كائنا من كان بل هو محشو بالغصص والنكد ومحفوف بالآلام الباطنة والظاهرة سأل برد العيش بعد الموت

والمقصود: أنه جمع في هذا الدعاء بين أطيب ما في الدنيا وأطيب ما في الآخرة فإن حاجة العباد إلى ربهم في عبادتهم إياه وتأليههم له كحاجتهم إليه في خلقه لهم ورزقه إياهم ومعافاة أبدانهم وستر عوراتهم وتأمين روعاتهم بل حاجتهم إلى تأليهه ومحبته وعبوديته أعظم فإن ذلك هو الغاية المقصودة لهم ولا صلاح لهم ولا نعيم ولا فلاح ولا لذة ولا سعادة بدون ذلك بحال ولهذا كانت لا اله إلا الله أحسن الحسنات وكان توحيد الإلهية رأس الأمر وأما توحيد الربوبية الذي أقر به المسلم والكافر وقرره أهل الكلام في كتبهم فلا يكفي وحده بل هو الحجة عليهم كما بين ذلك سبحانه في كتابه الكريم في عدة مواضع ولهذا كان حق الله على عباده أن يعبدوه ولا يشركوا به شيئا كما في الحديث الصحيح الذي رواه معاذ بن جبل رضي الله عنه عن النبي  قال: أتدري ما حق الله على عباده قلت: الله ورسوله أعلم قال: حقه على عباده أن يعبدوه ولا يشركوا به شيئا أتدري ما حق العباد على الله إذا فعلوا ذلك قلت: الله ورسوله أعلم قال: حقهم عليه أن لا يعذبهم بالنار ولذلك يحب سبحانه عباده المؤمنين الموحدين ويفرح بتوبتهم كما أن في ذلك أعظم لذة فليس في الكائنات شيء غير الله تعالى يسكن القلب إليه ويطمئن به ويأنس به ويتنعم بالتوجه إليه ومن عبد غيره سبحانه وحصل له به نوع منفعة ولذة فمضرته بذلك أضعاف أضعاف منفعته وهو بمنزلة أكل الطعام المسموم اللذيذ وكما أن السموات والأرض لو كان فيهما آلهة غيره سبحانه لفسدتا كما قال تعالى: لو كان فيهما آلهة إلا الله لفسدتا [ الأنبياء: 22 ] فكذلك القلب إذا كان فيه معبود غير الله تعالى فسد فسادا لا يرجى صلاحه إلا زبأن يخرج ذلك المعبود منه ويكون الله تعالى وحده إلهه ومعبوده الذي يحبه ويرجوه ويخافه ويتوكل عليه وينيب إليه 

my pregnancy diary ( 21 weeks update )

today i'm exactly 21 weeks pregnant ! my baby weighs about 360 g and is about the size of a carrot!

this week i have been feeling my best since the beginning of my pregnancy all of the symptoms has gone thankfully, no nausea no fatigue , my appetite is back to normal and i've been productive ,getting more stuff done, now that i have an energy, i 've been working out a bit and going for walks ,i'm following Denis Austin fit-firm pregnancy workout , it's amazing ,so easy and fun and definitely helps in releasing any kind of back pain, i have been getting a lot of lower back pain during the last weeks, but this week it's almost gone! even though i still have a little at the middle of my spine >< ..

as for food cravings it has finally happened ;D i haven't had cravings before but this week i have been craving cantaloupe and melon like crazy ! i would have them for breakfast , lunch , dinner and as a snack , i need one right now ;p , thankfully it's a healthy craving !

the exciting thing this week has been my baby's kicking <3 she has been very active kicking mummy every now and then and it makes me so HAPPY , it's very bonding and is making me fall in love with her more and more, plus it reassures me, it means she's fine and everything is great !

 

i'm looking forward to see my baby and hold her in my arms <3 i hope you're enjoying your stay in mummy's belly ;) , till then stay safe <3